Listen along!

CARD: MARCH 31, 2017

FADE IN: EXTERIOR – NIGHT

We are panning across the CEROS NATIONAL LABORATORY surrounded by chain link fence and lit only by security lights.

CUT TO: LAB INTERIOR

We see a pile of developers and QA lying on the ground, passed out, surrounded by empty beer bottles and glowing laptops.

MAN’S VOICE – O.S.
What happened here?

WOMAN’S VOICE – O.S.
The release. They deployed it.

MAN
My god. And what the hell is THAT?!

SMASH CUT TO:

Stranger Things 1

WOMAN
That’s where they came from.

MAN
Where WHAT came from?

WOMAN
The release features.

The MAN and the WOMAN enter the frame. We pause briefly on their badges to get their names.

ABENT
So…what exactly got released?

ALLA
At first it was small things. A new default canvas size of 1280 by 720. A default animation duration of 0.8 and delay of 0. And a tooltip when you hover over a folder icon. We took care of those pretty easily. Some bugs, too, that we managed to kill. iOS orientation changes messing up embed sizes. Making the studio not slow to a crawl when there were large images or lots of shadows. And parity in text weight between the studio and the player.

ABENT
And then?

ALLA
And then there were… stranger things.

Stranger Things 2

ALLA (CONT.)
Like kerning. Fonts that had kerning information started being kerned in the studio and player.

ABENT
You’re kidding.

ALLA
Afraid not. But there was more. There were things we never expected to see. Analytics requests started going to a different URL and bypassed our ad blockers. A problem we had been dealing with forever, where if you changed a value in the inspector panel and then immediately clicked on a different object in the layers panel, your value wouldn’t be saved – that stopped happening.

CUT TO: Passed out devs

ALLA
We were picking up all sorts of strange readings, too. Things we couldn’t see but that they –

Alla motions to the unconscious nerds

ALLA
– swore were there. They said that they were getting data about how fast a migration to the latest version of “Elasticsearch” would take, whatever that means. And Thiago over there

(THIAGO is surrounded by scraps of various barbequed meats and half-empty caipirinhas)

ALLA
claimed that the webapp had been put into a Docker container. Everyone seemed really excited about that one.

Stranger Things 3

ABENT rubs his head in disbelief.

ABENT
So that was it?

ALLA
Well…not quite.

ABENT
What do you mean “not quite”?

ALLA
We uh. We went in.

ABENT
*silence*

ALLA
We had to know! Progress can’t be stopped!

ABENT sighs.

ABENT
Okay. You went in. What did you find?

ALLA
At first, it was hard to see anything. We spotted copy/pasting of groups, off in the distance. But it didn’t come near us. It’s like it was waiting for…something. The rest of its epic, maybe.

ABENT
And?

ALLA
And then we realized…it was like everything was upside down.

Stranger Things 4

ALLA (CONT.)
You could – you’re going to think I’m crazy but I swear it’s true – you could target OBJECTS with INTERACTIONS. There was a whole new UI to the interactions panel. With SEARCH, even!

ABENT
Okay look, you’ve obviously been through a lot, let’s just take it slow and –

Suddenly, the room turns red as lights and alarms start going off.

HARD CUT TO: CLOSEUP, ABENT AND ALLA, PANICKED

ABENT
What’s going on?!

ALLA
Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

ABENT
Alla, tell me what is happe…WHAT IS THAT THING

Stranger Things 5

ALLA
RUN! RUN!

CAMERA FOLLOWS IN A TRACKING SHOT AS ABENT AND ALLA SPRINT DOWN THE HALLWAY TOWARDS THE ELEVATOR

ABENT
What did you find in there??

ALLA
It’s…it’s custom uploaded fonts. We didn’t think we’d ever actually see them, we didn’t know! You can drag and drop your own fonts onto the font explorer now! And they work in exported experiences too! Shit, what have we done?!

They reach the elevator and start slamming the button on the control panel over and over.

ABENT
Alla, I need you to tell me one thing. Do these…custom fonts….do they work with IMPORTED experiences?

ALLA
No…not yet.

The elevator door closes just before the CUSTOM FONTS monster reaches them. ABENT and ALLA are bent over with their hands on their knees, dumping adrenaline.

ABENT
Well, at least there’s that.

In an instant, the light in the elevator goes out, and the sound of the metal roof being peeled back is heard, accompanied by a terrible shriek.

SMASH CUT TO: END CREDITS – CAT GIFS

Stranger Things 6

Stranger Things 7

Stranger Things 8

Original screenplay by:
Alan – Ceros developer and expert of the upside-down

Starring:
Abent – Head of Engineering
Alla – Product Manager

Appearances by:
Thiago – DevOps Engineer